The last year, the last month especially, has taught me so so much. First, people are amazing. Kind, generous, thoughtful, just.. AMAZING! and second, life is really good, even when it's not. I feel incredible peace when I think of my little brother. I stand firm in my faith in God and a greater, bigger plan, I am certain that he is well. He is always and will remain present in my heart and mind. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of him. One of the toughest things is to block out those last images and hang on to the good ones, the ones where I stole his army guys, the one where we tied up our older brother so we could get back at him, the one where I got milk splattered all over my face in my effort to block what I thought was going to be a fist at his face. I remember taking his picture when he went to his High School prom, his excitement and love for me when I had my kids. His clever jokes, his cheesy smile.
So it goes without saying that it has been a really tough time for our little family. In addition to finding a new normal, we pulled out of the contract for our house, only days before closing, and the home we were renting is being sold. Sooo we are technically homeless (but not really don't worry) and we are looking for a house to rent, a good one, so it has not been easy. There are lots of things happening at work with my husband, mostly good, and there are lots and lots of things up in the air, lots and lots of decisions to make. Anyway, without going into too many boring details, we are stressed to the max but so grateful to be together and breathing... I read a quote recently that pretty much sums it up.
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. "
— Joseph Campbell
In the meantime my little baby girl is 5 months and laughing and grabbing things and being perfect..Stay tuned for pics of Daniel who is 4 going on 14 he is something else that one.
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1 comment:
Girl, I miss you so much! I am bummed you aren't in our ward right now, but I am happy that you guys have a place to stay and that all is well. I know life can be crazy and especially hard for you right now. Know that I think of you often and you are in my prayers!!
Lots of love!!
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